Welcome, Taylor Joy

You only get one chance to enter the world, and this one's arrival was just about as perfect as they come. Taylor Joy's welcome was perfectly orchestrated by God just the way I knew that it would be. Despite every question, doubt, and fear that kept swirling around in my human mind, God blessed us with a birth story like no other. 

So without further ado here it goes, in lots of detail and probably way too much information. I apologize in advance. 

In the days prior to her arrival, I kept getting more and more excited thinking about how close we were to finding out the gender of our little one. We had waited so long and now that it was this close, I felt like, okay someone just tell me now!!! I can't wait any longer! 

Although, unlike with my other two pregnancies, when I was soooo anxious to get the baby out, I was much more at peace waiting this go around. Maybe it's because of all of the health stuff my mom had been going through, or the crazy (for here) storms we'd been having in southern California that I knew could impact traffic or our safety driving to the hospital, or the fact that Grammie hadn't arrived until Tuesday, but we all felt very at peace with holding off the labor for as long as possible. 

But something about Wednesday just felt right. The sun was shining. I had a peaceful day at home without needing to run errands. I spent an extra long time reading through my Bible and praying. I just felt like it could be the day. I also knew that I had a doctors appointment in the afternoon. Since it was just 2 days from my due date I had hoped I would get a pretty good report about some dilation progress from all of the random contractions I had been having. Or better yet, that the midwife would do a membrane strip and get things moving along. 

I snapped this picture of my belly in our bathroom mirror before heading off to my appointment. I made sure all of the bags were packed. And then I left feeling super excited and hopeful. 

So, my appointment... My midwife throughout this whole experience has been a total dud. Beginning with my very first appointment when she gave me all sorts of bad vibes about my dates for the pregnancy being way off and setting me up for another appointment a few weeks later hoping that things would work out and that the baby would continue to develop... just to find out that sure enough at the next appointment, my original dates were right on track. (Insert weeks of meaningless worry here). Then the appointments where I'd bring the kids with me and she'd say things like, "Hey guys, does Mom let you feel your Baby BROTHER kicking... long pause... OR SISTER??? I was pretty sure that she spilled the beans like 5 times because every time she hinted or said something about it being a boy. And then this appointment where she cheerfully asked how things were going and if there was anything new and I reminded her that I had emailed her about my Mom and the concerns about needing to be vaccinated for what could potentially be Hepatitis etc. etc... to which she had responded to briefly by email but I could tell had no recollection of when I brought it up at the appointment. Oh ya, or the time when she accidentally called for "Meghan" but took another patient from the waiting room back and left me hanging for way too long.When I finally asked the front desk why I hadn't been called back yet, they realized that they had done my entire appointment with another person. Hence the reason why my height got changed on my charts from 5'9 to 5'1 and my weight chart was completely off. Yeah, so I went into this appointment as I usually do, with my guard up a bit. 

This appointment was no different. She had a "student" there with her who would do the appointment for her today while she watched on. Yada, yada, yada.... we can't do any strips for you because you were GBS positive, yada yada yada... my student is going to check you now. 

And she did, while pushing on my belly so hard and literally searching and searching for a super awkward long time while my actual OB just looked at her new puppy calendar that she had gotten for Christmas, narrating her thoughts about all of the kinds of puppies and which ones were her favorite. Ugh, get me out of here! When the student had finished, she whispered something to my OB and then my OB just smiled and said, "Okay, well let's get you scheduled for an induction date then." I asked her how far I was dilated and she said, "Honey, I guess you're not at all yet... and she said the cervix felt very hard and 0% effaced. 

Awesome. The thing that really annoyed me about that was that (sorry if it's TMI, but) I check myself at home, too. It's not hard at all for me to do and has aided us with timing conception in the past. So the second I got home, I checked myself, and could tell that I was dilated for sure at least a couple centimeters with a super soft cervix. I was sort of grouchy when I got back from the appointment. Annoyed at my doctor and a whole lot deflated thinking, so much for thinking the appointment might get things moving.

 The evening went on as usual, though. Grammie had fixed dinner, I went up to give Emmerson a bath, bedtime routines followed. The kids were both especially clingy that night asking me to give them extra hugs and extra kisses, and then hugs and kisses to my belly, and then begging me to stay in a little longer with them until they both fell asleep. And for whatever reason, while I was sitting in their room with them, I still had a weird feeling that it was going to be the night. 

I got ready for bed pretty early that night. I said goodnight to Grammie and Dustin and headed upstairs again. Emmerson started crying around 9:00 because she wasn't feeling well so I went in to check on her, help her blow her nose, and lay with her to get her back to sleep. I laid down at exactly 10:00 in our own bed and fell asleep for the night, or so I thought. 

At 11:00 exactly, I woke up with a strong contraction. It felt exactly the same as the contractions I'd had the last few weeks sporadically, so nothing that made me feel like, this is it!... yet. But they kept coming. Every time, I would grab my phone to see what time it was and they seemed to be about 8 - 10 minutes apart. I couldn't sleep through them, so I just laid awake. At 12:00, I got up to use the bathroom and I changed positions in bed, but they still kept coming subtly. I searched for an app on my phone to begin timing them. Sure enough, they were coming about every 6 - 7 minutes and lasting about 45 seconds to a minute long. Some felt strong and I breathed through them and others not as much. 

I decided at 1:15 or so, to wake Dustin up and let him know that this might be the night. I felt silly doing so because the contractions weren't really strong enough to be certain that this was the real deal, but knowing that I needed antibiotics for a recommended 4 hours prior to birth, I thought it'd be better to be safe than sorry. I called labor and delivery to see what they thought. They asked if my contractions were really strong? Nope. If my water had broken? Nope again. How many centimeters dilated I was at my most recent appointment... well, they said 0 but I'm not so sure that was correct. 

But when I told them about GBS and that it was my third baby and we were driving down from North County, they advised us to go ahead and come in and we'd see once I got there. 

Dustin and I grabbed our bags. I scribbled a quick love note to the kids and left it outside their door. We woke Grammie up to let her know we might be having a baby, and off we went. 

The car ride was quiet. Praise God for a middle of the night drive with absolutely no traffic. Dustin and I didn't talk much. We sat quietly listening to worship music on the way down. I was belting out some songs in between contractions and breathing quietly when a contraction came on. I just kept wondering if we'd be making all this effort to get down to Zion, just to be turned around and sent home. 

We arrived at the hospital around 2:30. We made our way up to the check in where things were eerily quiet. A sweet lady came out and asked us some questions. She was super slow moving and I felt so awkward because of course once we got there my contractions seemed to disappear. I spent the whole time talking to the lady at the front desk without experiencing any at all. 

They put a bracelet on me, and walked us over to the triage room where the nurse hooked me up to a few monitors. She took my vitals and asked a couple of questions. She was excited to hear that we were going to be surprised about the gender. She told me that she guessed we were having a boy based on the heart rate and my belly. I told her that just about everyone I know has said the exact same thing, including me. 

The nurse told us that the midwives were just changing over their shift and that as soon as they could, they would be in to check me and see how we were doing. 

Dustin and I sat quietly in the room for about 30 minutes. I told Dustin that if I was actually in labor, that when the contractions started to get intense I needed him to put his A game on and be my coach, like my mom had been with Emmerson's birth. I told him to help me relax the best I could by reminding me not to tense up and just keep telling me to relax and breathe. He agreed. 

In came the midwife at 3:45. She checked me and said I was at 4 cm. Such a relief because I knew you had to be 3 cm. to be admitted. They changed me into a robe and asked if I could walk to the delivery rooms. Of course I could because I still didn't feel like the labor was all that far along yet. 

 4:00- Once in the delivery room, the sweetest nurse, Diane, checked us in. She was so chatty, talking about everything under the sun with us. She also was excited to hear that we were going to be surprised about the gender. She wrote a note on the board that Dustin would announce the gender when the time came. She asked me what my current pain level was on a scale 1-10. I told her that I was probably at a 4, but only when I was having a contraction. Otherwise I felt fine. She asked me if I was prepared to experience a 10 without any medical interventions because I had requested to go naturally again. I told her that I would try my very best! 

The first contractions I had in the delivery room were feeling stronger. I had to close my eyes and breathe mindfully. I started to grab for Dustin's hand each time one was coming and he did just as I had asked. He brushed my hair, told me to relax and breathe, and then as soon as it was over I felt completely good again. I'd start chatting with everyone and laughing until the next one came on when I'd resume my concentrated breathing. 

I could tell things were progressing quickly because during the contractions I started to feel a bit nauseous. Exactly how I had felt with Emmerson's birth. I asked the nurse if I could get something for the nausea and she put in an order for Zofran. She had also just received the first bag of antibiotics. She placed them on the drip and got them going. I told her I was relieved because I felt like I might move quickly and I wanted to make sure the baby received all of the protection it could get before the delivery. She kind of just politely nodded but I could tell she didn't believe me. 

Then I started to ask the nurse about how often people's water breaks when they are laboring versus having to do it for them? I kept feeling like with the few contractions I had had, that the pressure was getting close to breaking mine. The nurse assumed I wanted her to break mine to speed the labor along so she went on a super long tangent about how it's better when it happens on it's own and not to worry, hopefully by some time around lunch tomorrow, we'd have our baby. 

Sure enough, the next contraction came and my water broke. I whispered to the nurse that my water had broke and I kindly tried to tell her again, I think this is going to move a lot faster than by lunch time. 

I think she got the memo on that one, because she said, "Well sweetie, let's check you and see." Granted I had only been in the room for less that 30 minutes, but sure enough I was at a 7. 

The nurse quickly picked up the phone. She told someone, "Yep, so she's at a 7 and it's moving quickly, can you page Robin and have her come in, please?" I heard the gal on the other end say, "Good for her!!!" 

Much to our surprise, in walked Robin, the OB that we had had for every appointment with Donovan's pregnancy. We LOVED Robin!!! It was like a little reunion. My contractions were intense, but still in between we were chatting about a mutual friend, and their kids, and about life in general and how many kids we had now. I kept telling her how glad I was that she was there. Robin asked what we thought we were having, and I told her that there was no doubt in my mind that this baby was a BOY. I told her I had been dreaming about this baby and every time it was a boy. I just knew it! And obviously my momma instinct would know, right? 

I also kept asking as we got closer, if they wouldn't mind asking someone to grab my phone and take a few pictures once the baby was here. I was so nervous, without my parents being there, that we'd forget to get a picture of us with the baby. 

Little did I know that the sweet little gal from the front desk would come in and literally take pics of the play by play. I was so grateful for that! So here are some of the pics that she captured. 

 Fast forward about 5 minutes. Robin was sitting at the bottom of the bed super relaxed. And I was also super relaxed until the contractions came on. These contractions felt much more intense. I had to breathe several times to get through them. It wasn't like they were more painful, just stronger and longer. I kept closing my eyes and picturing myself with the baby, thinking in just a few short minutes I get to find out who you are, Little One. 

I probably only had 2 or 3 contractions while Robin was there before  I announced that I needed to push! Robin, in her very calm way just said, "So, push." As that next contraction came, even though I wasn't in a position to push I just felt my whole body start baring down and I grunted a low grunt and began to feel a whole lot of pressure. I think it surprised the crew that I was actually at that point because they started to scramble and pull a table over and shift the bed to prepare for the delivery. 

This next part is way TMI, but birth is amazing and I don't want to forget any of it! 

As they shifted the bed and I sat there waiting for my next contraction I felt so much pressure. All of the sudden I just said, "You guys! I think I have to poop!" Robin again, so calmly just said, "It's finnnnne." And I did... all over what I swore was the floor but Dustin told me was the towel on the table in front of me. Oh my gosh, I felt soooo bad! What the heck? I just took a crap in front of a whole gang of people. I immediately kept apologizing and they reassured me that it happens a lot. But inside I wanted to die! 

Thankfully the next contraction came on before I could even have a chance to think about how mortified I was. On this contraction I pushed with all of my might. It was work, let me tell you, but I could feel the baby moving. The head began to crown and thennnnnn the contraction stopped. 

 Oh my gosh, that was a crazy feeling. I wished I could have just pushed the baby out already, but sure enough the head was fully crowned but the contraction stalled and I just waited in intense pain for what felt like 5 minutes. Robin kept reassuring me that this was perfect because it would keep me from tearing and to just to keep breathing through it. Oh, the burn and oh, the wait! I heard Robin ask Dustin if he was okay, I guess the moment wasn't just intense for me. Dustin started to get a little bit squeamish. Robin teased that she would knee him into the chair if she had to. 

100 hours later... or probably just 30 seconds, the next contraction came and they all told me to PUSH!

 And I grunted that baby right out, realizing how close I was to FINALLY discovering who this baby was. I love this picture, Robin presented our little one to Dustin to see who it was. And then he said...

 It's a GIRL!!!!!! Holy cow, this moment! I can't believe the lady from the front desk captured it. That single second was worth every single minute of 9 months of waiting to find out. It was a GIRL!!!!!!! I was literally in SHOCK. The picture says it all.  Even Robin's face is hilarious! I was so, so, so, so excited. I kept saying, "Thank you, Jesus!" "Praise you, Lord!" "Oh my gosh!" "I can't believe it!" 

 And there she was. Our squishy face, perfect, beautiful baby GIRL! 

There is absolutely nothing better in the entire world than those few minutes after birth. The baby smelled soooo amazing. She was so warm and quiet. The room was quiet and peaceful. I just couldn't believe how lucky we were in that moment.  The ultimate high! I told Diane and Robin that I just wanted to kiss them and I am pretty sure I did. I was so relieved and grateful for our healthy baby girl and her fast, easy entrance. 

 Total euphoria as all of the hard work paid off and I got to lay with our baby girl for over an hour like this before they took her away to weigh her and clean her off.  And then, her name came. In the last week or two before our due date we had settled on two boy names that we liked... but there was only one girl name all along. The only name Dustin liked and chose was Taylor. It was just the middle name that was so difficult for us to come up with. Nothing seemed to fit perfectly. But in that moment of pure elation, she became Taylor JOY. 

 We called my parents at 5:30, a few minutes after she'd been born to let them know we had a baby. My Dad sleepily answered the phone, asking if we were in labor. But his question was met with lots of loud crying and instead I asked him, "If he'd like to speak with his new granddaughter?" My mom immediately jumped on the phone and started crying. Although it was so hard not having them there with me, God had a hand in all of it. The night was so special for Dustin and I and that phone call was such a precious memory that I will cherish forever. 

 The nurses Anna and Diane took Taylor to weigh her and clean her. She was officially born on Thursday, January 26th at 5:12 a.m. She weighed 7 pounds 2 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long. 

We spent the morning face timing Grammie, Donovan, and Emmerson. Their reaction was so cute. Emmerson was very reserved and kind of giggly. Donovan was similar. They both laughed and said hi to Taylor. 

The nurse, Diane, stayed with us for another hour or so. I swear we became dear friends in that short encounter. She was so incredibly sweet and kept saying that in her 25 years of doing this, she had never experienced such a picture perfect, peaceful birth. I knew I felt like it was, but her affirmations were very sweet to hear, too. She also kept telling Dustin, "Do you have any idea how amazing your wife is? Like, seriously, birth is usually not like that at all!" I just soaked up every second of her compliments because heck, I felt like I had earned it! There is nothing that makes me feel more alive, validated, or more aware of my purpose than the act of giving birth. I almost immediately declared to Dustin that this could not be our last one... but alas, reality has set in again. :) 

Taylor JOY, you are a priceless treasure. A 7 pound replica of your big brother and sister and also of God's perfect and unexplainable grace. I feel like the luckiest woman in the whole world to be called your momma. 

Welcome to our family, Baby Girl...we've been waiting for you.

SHE's here!

Oh my goodness, we are in LOVE and in total shock too. It's a GIRL! Her arrival story coming soon. For now I am soaking up every second of pure heaven with this precious girl of ours. 

Sunny Days

So I apologize for the rant yesterday. 

Part of my emotional day yesterday came from an update about my mom's health. She is doing and feeling so much better. Thank you for those of you who have been thinking about her or praying. I am so happy that she is feeling more and more like herself. 

But my selfish, emotional, woe-is-me sadness came with a report that because this seems to be some unexplainable virus, my mom needs to be away from me and the baby until the virus completely exits her system. For now, they'll do a full work up in the lab every few days to monitor it, and eventually each week, then month etc. 

When my mom called with this news, rather than rejoice in the good report of her improving health, I automatically went to a sad place of... What the heck? First you can't come to the delivery and now you can't meet the baby for weeks, maybe months??? The thought of that broke my heart. 

So while yesterday's shared scripture gave me encouragement to get through the day(s) ahead. I had to laugh at what I stumbled upon in my devotional time this morning. 

Psalm 73:21-22

When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant. I was a brute beast before you. 

I randomly read through that Psalm and laughed when I got to that part. Preach it! 

The sun is out today and I slept last night.  And my mom is going to be okay!!! I am feeling renewed and much more grounded in reality this morning. 

 I am still praying for a miracle. I am hoping that her numbers will jump right back into healthy ranges so that she can hold her grand baby as soon as possible, God willing. As my friend Sarah always reminds me, God can move mountains! I am holding on to that and I trust that He will. 

So, to lighten the load on the ol' bliggity blog today I will share a few pictures that are making me smile. 

 First, these two. Donovan is so competitive. Dang it! Where could he have gotten that gene from? This was taken while the three of us were playing Old Maid. We play in a triangle and the person whose turn it is always has to pull a card from the person on their left. Well, Mr. Smarty (who had Old Maid) strategically placed that card way higher than all the rest in his hand... and poor, innocent Emmerson fell for it every. single. time. 

Each time she grabbed the Old Maid out of his hand, she'd turn to Dustin and I with the saddest look and shrug her little shoulders. I couldn't help but laugh. It happened like 5 times in this one round of Old Maid. You would think she'd catch on to her brother's sneaky tactics...but nope. Every time.  Just look at her in this picture. She would put her sweet, tiny fingers on the card that was highest in his hand, squeeze her eyes tight hoping for a good result, and then... Old Maid.... again. I love her. 

And this. Mr. Smarty also has a very big opinion about what he likes to wear to school. Our deal is that he gets to choose on Fridays. Monday - Thursday I usually give him an option of 2 shirts and let him choose. But this particular day, I put out his clothes for him. When he saw what I had chosen he spent the whole morning pouting and whining and I held my ground and didn't give in. 

Well, after dropping them both off at school I came home and found this little sketch sitting on the kitchen counter. 

This picture says, "Mom, the Angels shirt is a-okay... but the blue thermal with orange stitching, that's a no-go." I love his passive aggressive drawings and notes. This child! I could not love him more if I tried. 

I have a doctors appointment this afternoon. I am now just 2 days from my due date and have yet to be checked. Maybe this appointment will stir things up. But, until then, this little one is sitting comfortably and I am enjoying these strange days of a silent house and nothing on the agenda. 

Stay tuned, my friends. 

feeling all the feels

This verse spoke to me today. This morning I woke up feeling weak and broken. Pregnancy hormones have a way of doing that to you, I know. I woke up last night at 2 in the morning to go to the bathroom. I stumbled tiredly back into bed and then in true pregnancy form laid awake for the next two hours letting my fear and doubts get the best of me. 

First, I worried about the labor. Gosh, Emmerson's was so smooth and so beautiful. What if I can't do it that way this time? I have had both babies naturally... will I be able to do that again? What if the hospital is so crowded that they don't have a room for us? What if we don't make it to the hospital in time? What if I don't get antibiotics fast enough? What if, what if, what if? 

Then I thought about the baby. Oh Jesus, PLEASE let this baby be healthy. Please, please, please Lord! But, what if it's not? What would I do? How would I react?  What if not knowing the gender all along has an adverse affect on me and I don't connect right away when I see the baby? What if we can't figure out the name of this baby? What if, what if, what if? 

And then Emmerson stumbled into our room unexpectedly. "Mommy, I have to go potty." I was wide awake at that point so I easily scooped her up and helped her into the dark bathroom and tucked her tired little self back under her warm covers and gave her a kiss. 

I got back into bed and started to cry a bit. What if she has to go potty while we're staying at the hospital? What if she needs me or looks for me in the middle of the night and I'm not there? Gosh, maybe Grammie should sleep upstairs in our room so she can be closer to the kids in case they need someone. Because what if, what if, what if? 

And finally I thought about the changes that this new one will bring. We thrive and survive on a very routine existence around here. Like every night after dinner, Dustin cleans up while I give Emmerson a bath and Donovan takes his shower. Emmerson and I play Princess Sofia with her tub toys. I am King Roland and Minimus the Horse and she is Queen Miranda and all of the kids. And then we clean up and dry off and I put oils on their toes and cover it with cozy socks. I make sure their hair is brushed. And then I help Emmerson brush her teeth. I pick out their vitamins, but of course with my eyes closed because it wouldn't be fair to choose the colors on purpose. And then Daddy reads a story while we are sitting on their beds. And finally when the lights are out and we lay there quietly we share our highs and lows of the day and sometimes pray. Emmerson asks me to stay sitting on her bed for exactly 9 minutes and I do. I sit there in silence praying for each of them and listening to their breathing get heavier as they drift off to sleep. 

Will that still be the same when the baby comes? Will I still be able to give them the attention that they deserve? Will I still be able to cherish the most incredibly funny and cute and sweet things that they say and do? Will I, will I, will I? 

And sometime between 4 and 4:30 I fell asleep again.  

Last week I was chatting with my mom during my lunch break at work. She asked, "Can you even believe you are going to be a mom to three?" I confidently responded by saying something like, "Ya, actually I can. We've always wanted three and this is just the perfect time. I feel more than ready." 

And that was the truth. 

I AM so confident in this greatest blessing that has been given to us. I want nothing more than to welcome this new life into our family. And I know and trust that everything will be perfectly orchestrated by a Father that loves us and knows what is best for us. 

I am trusting and clinging to Him and His promises. 

But for today, I am okay sharing my weaknesses, my fears, my doubts, my hormonal thought stream from the middle of a sleepless night. Because His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my very weak, human self. So grateful for that. 

 So until the baby gets here, you can find me soaking up moments like these... and also sitting with a box of tissues attached to my hip. Because... hormones. 

What to Buy for Baby #3

I remember when the reality of this new baby set in, one of the first things I started to think about was what in the world do you need for baby #3? When we were expecting Donovan 6 years ago we were blessed in abundance by family and friends and co-workers galore.  We got all of the goods and felt completely ready for our little guy. We got pregnant with Emmerson when Donovan was just 18 months old, so with Em we had the benefit of reusing all of Donovan's gear plus lots of cute little girl extras. But with Baby 3, six years have passed and in the world of baby gear that means a whole new generation. While we saved most everything from Donovan and Emmerson, there were some new items that I knew I wanted to try with this baby to be. 

1. //Fisher Price Rocker//

I had heard from some friends at work that this was the thing that I was missing. I never had one of these with the other kiddos. We received it from a group of friends at work for my big shower gift. While we haven't tried it yet, it seems pretty awesome. It vibrates, has a couple of different tilt positions, and most importantly is light and easy to move from spot to spot. I envision toting Baby 3 all around the house in this thing so that I can shower, cook etc. 

2. //GAP Monthly Onesies//

I scored these cuties on a Christmas sale where they were already marked down and then I got them for an additional 50% off. I had used the onesie stickers with both of our other kiddos so I am excited to try something new with this babe. It doesn't get much easier than these. 

3. //Motorola Baby Monitor//

So, we very graciously accepted my Oma's request to purchase a new monitor for this go around. We used a very basic monitor with Donovan and didn't use one at all with Emmerson. 6 years later, video monitors seem to be just about the only type of monitor out there. I knew it'd come in handy with Baby #3 because we will most likely be spending lots of time playing outside with the big kids when our newest babe is napping indoors. I have no reviews on this one yet but it seemed like the most simple model that still included all of the latest bells and whistles. The reviews were pretty positive so I am hopeful that it will be a good fit for us. 

4. //Solly Baby Wrap//

With Dustin's baseball season underway and Donovan's right around the corner, not to mention Emmerson is begging to start dance or gymnastics asap, a baby carrier seemed like a must for this little one. For Donovan we had purchased the original Baby Bjorn which I think ended up getting a lot of flack for hip dysplasia risks. I am excited to try the Solly Baby because it seems light weight, comfy, and like the perfect way to bond with baby while having the convenience of toting him/her around to all of the various things that are a part of our life right now. 

5. //Nuroo Baby Cover//

I love these ingenious nursing cover/carseat cover/shopping cart covers all in one. This was not a thing when we had our other two. I purchased the black and white stripe and it is so soft and comfy. I  am bringing it along in the hospital bag and I am excited to give it a try. 

6. //Nuroo Swaddler//

These seem brilliant, too. If you haven't seen them before, they are a baby swaddler with three built in sizes to fit your baby as they grow. I purchased two different gender neutral patterns. I had saved all of our swaddlers from Donovan and Emmerson, although the velcro on them had just about given out. I think the Nuroo will be a definite upgrade for this little one. 

7.  //Summer Infant Baby Bather//

This was not a must, but my mother in law who knows all of the latest and greatest about babies from her involvement with young families at church, told me that we needed this. She purchased it for us on her last visit. It is so lightweight and the mesh seems very easy and practical to use with a newborn. Our original bath had stuck around for the long haul, stored in the garage all of this time. But it was bigger and bulky and once we got this new one, we ended up sending the older one on its way. My mother in law also got us a sound machine that I haven't seen yet. We never used one with Donovan or Emmerson but she told us that we will love it and I believe her! Can't wait to check it out. 

The few other things on my last minute shopping list were some replacement pieces for my Medela pump, bottles, pacifiers, and of course a couple of gender neutral newborn outfits. I have a feeling once we find out whether or not this little one is a boy or girl there will be a whole lot more shopping going on. 

Gender Neutral Nursery for Baby Number 3

 Welcome to the nursery of sweet Baby Number Three. Truth be told, while I have loved the experience of not finding out the gender of this little one, it has been a bit of a challenge to prep, shop, and plan for our baby to be. For the most part, we took down all of the girly touches from Emmerson's room and started with a clean slate.  Oh, how I loved her girly nursery. But it was certainly girl overload if this little one ends up being a boy.  

We didn't purchase too many things for this nursery. Instead, we repurposed a lot of the things we already had and then purchased a few new touches along the way. My Dad gifted us with a light weight print of one of his beach pictures that we hung just above the baby's crib. It was printed on a foam board which was perfect for safety reasons. 

The little rug came from Overstock. 

 We also didn't want to go overboard on a theme for the nursery, until we got to know this little one. But it did end up evolving into a beachy room because of some of the items we already had. We chose some gray and turquoise accents for the room which I suppose could go girl or boy. This pillow used to be in Donovan's room and came from Pottery Barn Kids over 6 years ago. The throw blanket is from Target. 

 The signs on the wall came from Salty Bison . They were the first things that I purchased after finding out we were expecting. 

 We kept the same little library nook with our Ikea shelves for this one. 

 I made this little painting one night with some craft paints and a canvas that we already had laying around. It makes me dream of summer. 

The baby's closet has a repurposed changing table that I purchased on craigslist when we were expecting with Donovan. We got some neutral storage bins from Target that will eventually store the baby's clothes in bigger sizes. The walls looked a little bit too white so I purchased some polka dot wall decals from Urban Walls.  Once the baby gets bigger and we take the changing table out of the nook, I think the closet will make a fun little play space. I also want to add some more colorful art to the space once we know if the babe is a boy or a girl. 

The sunshine sign was from Etsy years ago that we used in Donovan's room but I can't find the exact one anymore. 

 This is the same Ikea Malm dresser that we used for Emmerson that has since been discontinued. I will add much more decor to the top when we find out the gender. 

 I always love taking pictures of the baby's drawers before hand remembering how sweet and tiny their little newborn outfits were. These are the boy drawers. 

 And the one little drawer of girl things. If this does end up being a baby girl, we will need to shop, shop, shop for some warmer baby girl items. One of the new items we purchased was a Nuroo swaddle in a couple of gender neutral patterns.  I am excited to try them out. 

 But if you ask me what my favorite accessory is that's waiting in the nursery... it's this big sister that just can't wait to cuddle our new little bundle. 

She's been getting lots of practice with her dollies. Our due date is just a few days away! We are so excited to meet you Little One.


wall art - //salty bison// 

throw blanket- //Target//

rug - //Overstock//

polka dot wall decals - //Urban Walls//

storage bins - //Target//

book shelves - //Ikea// 

swaddler - //Nuroo//

What a Week

You guys! I have officially made it to my first day of maternity leave. I was actually supposed to work today but after the week of all weeks, I called in sick and am now sitting on the couch in my sweats, watching the Inauguration, and am so grateful for a quiet day to myself. 

For so long now, this impending baby's arrival has taken precedence in all of our thoughts. It's been an easy process to date and we are finally coming to the end of this wait. 39 weeks today. 

But our focus shifted this week as my mom was admitted to urgent care on Monday with some troubling symptoms. After lots of tests and appointments and more tests we have had a roller coaster of a week. We still don't have answers but as of last night, our greatest fears were dismissed when the doctors announced that clean ultrasound scans indicated that it is not cancer. 

It's crazy how fast life can change when health concerns arise. I practically forgot I was pregnant this week, which says a lot when you are 38 weeks along. I managed to get through each work day but I felt like I was in such a fog. My poor students got a very meek version of my usually enthusiastic self. Oh, and did I mention that I got a call from Donovan's after school care program asking me to come quick because he might need stitches??? Yep, he did. That was Tuesday. Brave boy and a completely exhausted momma ready to throw in the towel. 

But the joy in this week has been that it has brought us all to our knees. We have shared stories about the way God had spoken to us in our moments of fear and worry. An incredible army of prayer warriors came out of every which way to hold my mom and lift her up in precious ways unimaginable. It was so encouraging to experience. Those of you reading this that are part of that... I thank you for your words, wisdom, and support. 

We are still waiting for answers. We are still waiting for our baby. 

I am waiting with a hopeful heart of anticipation, feeling a renewed awareness of God's most precious gifts to us. 

It's been a crazy week but the best is yet to come.

A race to the finish line

Well my friends, we have made it to 38 weeks! I barely crossed the finish line for the work week this week. Whew! Early morning wake ups and getting these two gems dressed and out the door on time should have been enough to send me into labor... but alas, Baby is still sitting pretty in my big ol' belly and we are enjoying another lovely weekend as a family of 4. My last official day of work will be next Friday, the 20th. For the most part, work was fine last week. For whatever reason on Tuesday I felt miserable... crampy, exhausted, and just plain yuck. But the rest of the week I felt fine. 

My doctor's appointment this week was pretty uneventful. No cervical checks this time so I have nothing to compare it to. My fundal measurement was only 35 weeks... I really have no clue what information that gives anyways. I did end up testing positive for the presence of Group B Strep, like I had with Donovan... but had not with Emmerson. I am a little bummed about that. All this means initially, is that I should ideally be hooked up to antibiotics for at least 4 hours before the baby delivers. But there are also risks associated with Group B Strep that aren't very encouraging to read about. For now I am just trusting in God to protect this little one and hoping I will be able to get to the hospital in enough time to do my part of the preventative work with the antibiotics. 

Other than the Group B Step news, all has been pretty awesome. I am a nesting freak right now, catching things out of the corner of my eye like a boss. I mean, how could there possibly be so many smudges on the white cabinets in the kitchen? Or what the heck, why is there so much dust on top of that fan blade... I thought I just cleaned those?! Dustin laughed this morning when I had a near melt down when the kids got muffin crumbs all over the kitchen table just a few minutes after I had wiped it down and polished it. It is such a weird urge to try to make every last little inch of the house perfect before the baby comes. 

Just tonight I started to put the hospital bag together. I ordered a couple of last minute things at Target online tonight that may or may not get here in time. Random stuff, like $2 flip flops to wear in the hospital shower and a container of vaseline just in case we have a boy that ends up needing vaseline on his diapers after a circumcision. These are the weird, random thoughts that occupy my mind these days. 

And while my mind is swirling with all things baby... My big babies are still consuming my whole heart and all of the energy I have left to give. 

On Saturday morning we woke up early for the Legoland Kids Marathon Mile. 

 Oma and Grampie met us these to cheer them on. 

 At first I figured I'd walk the race while Dustin jogged with the kiddos. But about 2 minutes into the walk, I turned around and jetted for the finish line. After all, I would way rather see their sweet faces cross the finish line than make them wait an extra 20 minutes for me to come through behind them. 

 Just like last year, Donovan was a champ and ran the whole thing. Emmerson was a little overwhelmed with the crowds and the cheering and her Dad's unwillingness to carry her during the jog. :) 

 She refused group pictures for the first few minutes after crossing the finish. 

 But she warmed up to it once she had the chance to show off her medal to her very proud grandparents. 

And really, that was the most eventful thing we've done this weekend. The rest of Saturday was super lazy. We went to church Saturday night and got our usual greasy Mexican food on the way home. Sunday morning was also pretty mellow. Mid day we took a long family walk and then played at the neighborhood park. In the afternoon we brought our lunch to Discovery Lake for a little picnic but it was freezing (well, our version of freezing, like 60 degrees) so we didn't stay too long. Oma, Grampie, and Oma Oma came over for our usual Sunday dinner tonight. It was a relaxing day.

I am so thankful to have tomorrow off for one more day of laid back family time before beginning the work week again! 

Cheers to you all. Here's to another good week ahead. 

What a way to end vacation...

Oh my goodness, I never want this weekend to end. But alas, back to the grind tomorrow. We ended this vacation on such a high note that it makes our return to routine tomorrow bitter sweet. 

Saturday we spent the morning in our usual lazy state. The kids played outside with their neighborhood buddies while I spent some time working in the yard. The sun was out and it was just a gorgeous day. In the afternoon we headed south for a 2 year old birthday party. One of Dustin's best friends from high school lives in San Diego with his beautiful family and it had been years since we'd seen him. So it was fun for Dustin to catch up with some old buddies. The kids and I had a blast too. 

 I am always blown away by some of the crazy, fun parties that the kids get invited to. This one was too cute! A farm themed party complete with a petting zoo in the front yard. 

 And how about a pony ride around the cul-de-sac? 

 This face! It's my favorite! He was so excited that he was able to capture one of the chickens. 

 #proud

In the evening we left the party and went to church for an amazing sermon and night of worship. When we got home the kids and I got in our jammies and cuddled on the couch watching cartoons until way too late. 

Then Sunday came. And for real... summer came with it! I feel guilty even saying that considering so much of our nation is dealing with major winter weather woes. I have always said that rainy days and cooler weather are my favorite, but I change my mind. Something about a bright, sunshiny day in January just brings joy to my soul. We all woke up giddy and decided to venture on down to the beach. 

It was a miracle that I walked a good 2 and a half miles with this crew without throwing in the towel. I did have to stop to take a quick potty break of course, but otherwise I felt great! I am so thankful for that. This is what makes me think that this baby is going to stay put for a good, long while still.  PS Emmerson hasn't used this stroller for years now. But all of the sudden she loves it. I'm hoping she doesn't get too attached because in a few weeks it will belong to someone else. Ha! 

 We ended our walk here, where the nicest homeless gentleman came up and wished me good luck with the basketball in my belly. :) I was so thankful that Dustin grabbed my phone to snap a couple pics of this moment. So much love in this picture, my heart could explode. 

 We were excited to bump into some friends from work that have two girls that were/are in each of the kids' preschool classes. They played tag on the grass for the longest time while we chatted and soaked up the sun. 

 Love Em's face here. She is so smitten with her Daddy. 

 And of course, big brother wanted to have his own turn too. 

 We decided to stay for a yummy lunch where the kids showed off their menu coloring skills. 

Then it was time to go. We made our way back to the car and I started my mental check list of things I had to do when we got home: meal plan, laundry, prep our lunches and backpacks...

But instead of jumping back on the freeway, Dustin turned back down the coast and we just drove and drove and drove. Everything about the day felt like summer. The beaches were packed, our windows were rolled down, the music was blasting, my to-do list went out the window, and the day lingered on for hours. Ahhhhhhh. 

How about some ice cream? 

And then one last walk on top of Double Peak where Dustin knows these running trails like the back of his hand. The views were stunning today. We could see snow capped mountains to the East, down town SD to the South, and south Orange County to the North. 

 We even used the telescope to find our own house. 

Look at her little hand holding on to him! 

And one last photo op before we officially headed back home. 

 I know I am going to miss this bump so much when it's gone. 

So here we go, folks! Back to work tomorrow and I am going to make the most of it. I am so excited to see my cute little students again. 

Wishing you all the best week!