SHE's here!

Oh my goodness, we are in LOVE and in total shock too. It's a GIRL! Her arrival story coming soon. For now I am soaking up every second of pure heaven with this precious girl of ours. 

Sunny Days

So I apologize for the rant yesterday. 

Part of my emotional day yesterday came from an update about my mom's health. She is doing and feeling so much better. Thank you for those of you who have been thinking about her or praying. I am so happy that she is feeling more and more like herself. 

But my selfish, emotional, woe-is-me sadness came with a report that because this seems to be some unexplainable virus, my mom needs to be away from me and the baby until the virus completely exits her system. For now, they'll do a full work up in the lab every few days to monitor it, and eventually each week, then month etc. 

When my mom called with this news, rather than rejoice in the good report of her improving health, I automatically went to a sad place of... What the heck? First you can't come to the delivery and now you can't meet the baby for weeks, maybe months??? The thought of that broke my heart. 

So while yesterday's shared scripture gave me encouragement to get through the day(s) ahead. I had to laugh at what I stumbled upon in my devotional time this morning. 

Psalm 73:21-22

When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered, I was senseless and ignorant. I was a brute beast before you. 

I randomly read through that Psalm and laughed when I got to that part. Preach it! 

The sun is out today and I slept last night.  And my mom is going to be okay!!! I am feeling renewed and much more grounded in reality this morning. 

 I am still praying for a miracle. I am hoping that her numbers will jump right back into healthy ranges so that she can hold her grand baby as soon as possible, God willing. As my friend Sarah always reminds me, God can move mountains! I am holding on to that and I trust that He will. 

So, to lighten the load on the ol' bliggity blog today I will share a few pictures that are making me smile. 

 First, these two. Donovan is so competitive. Dang it! Where could he have gotten that gene from? This was taken while the three of us were playing Old Maid. We play in a triangle and the person whose turn it is always has to pull a card from the person on their left. Well, Mr. Smarty (who had Old Maid) strategically placed that card way higher than all the rest in his hand... and poor, innocent Emmerson fell for it every. single. time. 

Each time she grabbed the Old Maid out of his hand, she'd turn to Dustin and I with the saddest look and shrug her little shoulders. I couldn't help but laugh. It happened like 5 times in this one round of Old Maid. You would think she'd catch on to her brother's sneaky tactics...but nope. Every time.  Just look at her in this picture. She would put her sweet, tiny fingers on the card that was highest in his hand, squeeze her eyes tight hoping for a good result, and then... Old Maid.... again. I love her. 

And this. Mr. Smarty also has a very big opinion about what he likes to wear to school. Our deal is that he gets to choose on Fridays. Monday - Thursday I usually give him an option of 2 shirts and let him choose. But this particular day, I put out his clothes for him. When he saw what I had chosen he spent the whole morning pouting and whining and I held my ground and didn't give in. 

Well, after dropping them both off at school I came home and found this little sketch sitting on the kitchen counter. 

This picture says, "Mom, the Angels shirt is a-okay... but the blue thermal with orange stitching, that's a no-go." I love his passive aggressive drawings and notes. This child! I could not love him more if I tried. 

I have a doctors appointment this afternoon. I am now just 2 days from my due date and have yet to be checked. Maybe this appointment will stir things up. But, until then, this little one is sitting comfortably and I am enjoying these strange days of a silent house and nothing on the agenda. 

Stay tuned, my friends. 

feeling all the feels

This verse spoke to me today. This morning I woke up feeling weak and broken. Pregnancy hormones have a way of doing that to you, I know. I woke up last night at 2 in the morning to go to the bathroom. I stumbled tiredly back into bed and then in true pregnancy form laid awake for the next two hours letting my fear and doubts get the best of me. 

First, I worried about the labor. Gosh, Emmerson's was so smooth and so beautiful. What if I can't do it that way this time? I have had both babies naturally... will I be able to do that again? What if the hospital is so crowded that they don't have a room for us? What if we don't make it to the hospital in time? What if I don't get antibiotics fast enough? What if, what if, what if? 

Then I thought about the baby. Oh Jesus, PLEASE let this baby be healthy. Please, please, please Lord! But, what if it's not? What would I do? How would I react?  What if not knowing the gender all along has an adverse affect on me and I don't connect right away when I see the baby? What if we can't figure out the name of this baby? What if, what if, what if? 

And then Emmerson stumbled into our room unexpectedly. "Mommy, I have to go potty." I was wide awake at that point so I easily scooped her up and helped her into the dark bathroom and tucked her tired little self back under her warm covers and gave her a kiss. 

I got back into bed and started to cry a bit. What if she has to go potty while we're staying at the hospital? What if she needs me or looks for me in the middle of the night and I'm not there? Gosh, maybe Grammie should sleep upstairs in our room so she can be closer to the kids in case they need someone. Because what if, what if, what if? 

And finally I thought about the changes that this new one will bring. We thrive and survive on a very routine existence around here. Like every night after dinner, Dustin cleans up while I give Emmerson a bath and Donovan takes his shower. Emmerson and I play Princess Sofia with her tub toys. I am King Roland and Minimus the Horse and she is Queen Miranda and all of the kids. And then we clean up and dry off and I put oils on their toes and cover it with cozy socks. I make sure their hair is brushed. And then I help Emmerson brush her teeth. I pick out their vitamins, but of course with my eyes closed because it wouldn't be fair to choose the colors on purpose. And then Daddy reads a story while we are sitting on their beds. And finally when the lights are out and we lay there quietly we share our highs and lows of the day and sometimes pray. Emmerson asks me to stay sitting on her bed for exactly 9 minutes and I do. I sit there in silence praying for each of them and listening to their breathing get heavier as they drift off to sleep. 

Will that still be the same when the baby comes? Will I still be able to give them the attention that they deserve? Will I still be able to cherish the most incredibly funny and cute and sweet things that they say and do? Will I, will I, will I? 

And sometime between 4 and 4:30 I fell asleep again.  

Last week I was chatting with my mom during my lunch break at work. She asked, "Can you even believe you are going to be a mom to three?" I confidently responded by saying something like, "Ya, actually I can. We've always wanted three and this is just the perfect time. I feel more than ready." 

And that was the truth. 

I AM so confident in this greatest blessing that has been given to us. I want nothing more than to welcome this new life into our family. And I know and trust that everything will be perfectly orchestrated by a Father that loves us and knows what is best for us. 

I am trusting and clinging to Him and His promises. 

But for today, I am okay sharing my weaknesses, my fears, my doubts, my hormonal thought stream from the middle of a sleepless night. Because His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my very weak, human self. So grateful for that. 

 So until the baby gets here, you can find me soaking up moments like these... and also sitting with a box of tissues attached to my hip. Because... hormones. 

What to Buy for Baby #3

I remember when the reality of this new baby set in, one of the first things I started to think about was what in the world do you need for baby #3? When we were expecting Donovan 6 years ago we were blessed in abundance by family and friends and co-workers galore.  We got all of the goods and felt completely ready for our little guy. We got pregnant with Emmerson when Donovan was just 18 months old, so with Em we had the benefit of reusing all of Donovan's gear plus lots of cute little girl extras. But with Baby 3, six years have passed and in the world of baby gear that means a whole new generation. While we saved most everything from Donovan and Emmerson, there were some new items that I knew I wanted to try with this baby to be. 

1. //Fisher Price Rocker//

I had heard from some friends at work that this was the thing that I was missing. I never had one of these with the other kiddos. We received it from a group of friends at work for my big shower gift. While we haven't tried it yet, it seems pretty awesome. It vibrates, has a couple of different tilt positions, and most importantly is light and easy to move from spot to spot. I envision toting Baby 3 all around the house in this thing so that I can shower, cook etc. 

2. //GAP Monthly Onesies//

I scored these cuties on a Christmas sale where they were already marked down and then I got them for an additional 50% off. I had used the onesie stickers with both of our other kiddos so I am excited to try something new with this babe. It doesn't get much easier than these. 

3. //Motorola Baby Monitor//

So, we very graciously accepted my Oma's request to purchase a new monitor for this go around. We used a very basic monitor with Donovan and didn't use one at all with Emmerson. 6 years later, video monitors seem to be just about the only type of monitor out there. I knew it'd come in handy with Baby #3 because we will most likely be spending lots of time playing outside with the big kids when our newest babe is napping indoors. I have no reviews on this one yet but it seemed like the most simple model that still included all of the latest bells and whistles. The reviews were pretty positive so I am hopeful that it will be a good fit for us. 

4. //Solly Baby Wrap//

With Dustin's baseball season underway and Donovan's right around the corner, not to mention Emmerson is begging to start dance or gymnastics asap, a baby carrier seemed like a must for this little one. For Donovan we had purchased the original Baby Bjorn which I think ended up getting a lot of flack for hip dysplasia risks. I am excited to try the Solly Baby because it seems light weight, comfy, and like the perfect way to bond with baby while having the convenience of toting him/her around to all of the various things that are a part of our life right now. 

5. //Nuroo Baby Cover//

I love these ingenious nursing cover/carseat cover/shopping cart covers all in one. This was not a thing when we had our other two. I purchased the black and white stripe and it is so soft and comfy. I  am bringing it along in the hospital bag and I am excited to give it a try. 

6. //Nuroo Swaddler//

These seem brilliant, too. If you haven't seen them before, they are a baby swaddler with three built in sizes to fit your baby as they grow. I purchased two different gender neutral patterns. I had saved all of our swaddlers from Donovan and Emmerson, although the velcro on them had just about given out. I think the Nuroo will be a definite upgrade for this little one. 

7.  //Summer Infant Baby Bather//

This was not a must, but my mother in law who knows all of the latest and greatest about babies from her involvement with young families at church, told me that we needed this. She purchased it for us on her last visit. It is so lightweight and the mesh seems very easy and practical to use with a newborn. Our original bath had stuck around for the long haul, stored in the garage all of this time. But it was bigger and bulky and once we got this new one, we ended up sending the older one on its way. My mother in law also got us a sound machine that I haven't seen yet. We never used one with Donovan or Emmerson but she told us that we will love it and I believe her! Can't wait to check it out. 

The few other things on my last minute shopping list were some replacement pieces for my Medela pump, bottles, pacifiers, and of course a couple of gender neutral newborn outfits. I have a feeling once we find out whether or not this little one is a boy or girl there will be a whole lot more shopping going on. 

What a Week

You guys! I have officially made it to my first day of maternity leave. I was actually supposed to work today but after the week of all weeks, I called in sick and am now sitting on the couch in my sweats, watching the Inauguration, and am so grateful for a quiet day to myself. 

For so long now, this impending baby's arrival has taken precedence in all of our thoughts. It's been an easy process to date and we are finally coming to the end of this wait. 39 weeks today. 

But our focus shifted this week as my mom was admitted to urgent care on Monday with some troubling symptoms. After lots of tests and appointments and more tests we have had a roller coaster of a week. We still don't have answers but as of last night, our greatest fears were dismissed when the doctors announced that clean ultrasound scans indicated that it is not cancer. 

It's crazy how fast life can change when health concerns arise. I practically forgot I was pregnant this week, which says a lot when you are 38 weeks along. I managed to get through each work day but I felt like I was in such a fog. My poor students got a very meek version of my usually enthusiastic self. Oh, and did I mention that I got a call from Donovan's after school care program asking me to come quick because he might need stitches??? Yep, he did. That was Tuesday. Brave boy and a completely exhausted momma ready to throw in the towel. 

But the joy in this week has been that it has brought us all to our knees. We have shared stories about the way God had spoken to us in our moments of fear and worry. An incredible army of prayer warriors came out of every which way to hold my mom and lift her up in precious ways unimaginable. It was so encouraging to experience. Those of you reading this that are part of that... I thank you for your words, wisdom, and support. 

We are still waiting for answers. We are still waiting for our baby. 

I am waiting with a hopeful heart of anticipation, feeling a renewed awareness of God's most precious gifts to us. 

It's been a crazy week but the best is yet to come.

A race to the finish line

Well my friends, we have made it to 38 weeks! I barely crossed the finish line for the work week this week. Whew! Early morning wake ups and getting these two gems dressed and out the door on time should have been enough to send me into labor... but alas, Baby is still sitting pretty in my big ol' belly and we are enjoying another lovely weekend as a family of 4. My last official day of work will be next Friday, the 20th. For the most part, work was fine last week. For whatever reason on Tuesday I felt miserable... crampy, exhausted, and just plain yuck. But the rest of the week I felt fine. 

My doctor's appointment this week was pretty uneventful. No cervical checks this time so I have nothing to compare it to. My fundal measurement was only 35 weeks... I really have no clue what information that gives anyways. I did end up testing positive for the presence of Group B Strep, like I had with Donovan... but had not with Emmerson. I am a little bummed about that. All this means initially, is that I should ideally be hooked up to antibiotics for at least 4 hours before the baby delivers. But there are also risks associated with Group B Strep that aren't very encouraging to read about. For now I am just trusting in God to protect this little one and hoping I will be able to get to the hospital in enough time to do my part of the preventative work with the antibiotics. 

Other than the Group B Step news, all has been pretty awesome. I am a nesting freak right now, catching things out of the corner of my eye like a boss. I mean, how could there possibly be so many smudges on the white cabinets in the kitchen? Or what the heck, why is there so much dust on top of that fan blade... I thought I just cleaned those?! Dustin laughed this morning when I had a near melt down when the kids got muffin crumbs all over the kitchen table just a few minutes after I had wiped it down and polished it. It is such a weird urge to try to make every last little inch of the house perfect before the baby comes. 

Just tonight I started to put the hospital bag together. I ordered a couple of last minute things at Target online tonight that may or may not get here in time. Random stuff, like $2 flip flops to wear in the hospital shower and a container of vaseline just in case we have a boy that ends up needing vaseline on his diapers after a circumcision. These are the weird, random thoughts that occupy my mind these days. 

And while my mind is swirling with all things baby... My big babies are still consuming my whole heart and all of the energy I have left to give. 

On Saturday morning we woke up early for the Legoland Kids Marathon Mile. 

 Oma and Grampie met us these to cheer them on. 

 At first I figured I'd walk the race while Dustin jogged with the kiddos. But about 2 minutes into the walk, I turned around and jetted for the finish line. After all, I would way rather see their sweet faces cross the finish line than make them wait an extra 20 minutes for me to come through behind them. 

 Just like last year, Donovan was a champ and ran the whole thing. Emmerson was a little overwhelmed with the crowds and the cheering and her Dad's unwillingness to carry her during the jog. :) 

 She refused group pictures for the first few minutes after crossing the finish. 

 But she warmed up to it once she had the chance to show off her medal to her very proud grandparents. 

And really, that was the most eventful thing we've done this weekend. The rest of Saturday was super lazy. We went to church Saturday night and got our usual greasy Mexican food on the way home. Sunday morning was also pretty mellow. Mid day we took a long family walk and then played at the neighborhood park. In the afternoon we brought our lunch to Discovery Lake for a little picnic but it was freezing (well, our version of freezing, like 60 degrees) so we didn't stay too long. Oma, Grampie, and Oma Oma came over for our usual Sunday dinner tonight. It was a relaxing day.

I am so thankful to have tomorrow off for one more day of laid back family time before beginning the work week again! 

Cheers to you all. Here's to another good week ahead. 

What a way to end vacation...

Oh my goodness, I never want this weekend to end. But alas, back to the grind tomorrow. We ended this vacation on such a high note that it makes our return to routine tomorrow bitter sweet. 

Saturday we spent the morning in our usual lazy state. The kids played outside with their neighborhood buddies while I spent some time working in the yard. The sun was out and it was just a gorgeous day. In the afternoon we headed south for a 2 year old birthday party. One of Dustin's best friends from high school lives in San Diego with his beautiful family and it had been years since we'd seen him. So it was fun for Dustin to catch up with some old buddies. The kids and I had a blast too. 

 I am always blown away by some of the crazy, fun parties that the kids get invited to. This one was too cute! A farm themed party complete with a petting zoo in the front yard. 

 And how about a pony ride around the cul-de-sac? 

 This face! It's my favorite! He was so excited that he was able to capture one of the chickens. 

 #proud

In the evening we left the party and went to church for an amazing sermon and night of worship. When we got home the kids and I got in our jammies and cuddled on the couch watching cartoons until way too late. 

Then Sunday came. And for real... summer came with it! I feel guilty even saying that considering so much of our nation is dealing with major winter weather woes. I have always said that rainy days and cooler weather are my favorite, but I change my mind. Something about a bright, sunshiny day in January just brings joy to my soul. We all woke up giddy and decided to venture on down to the beach. 

It was a miracle that I walked a good 2 and a half miles with this crew without throwing in the towel. I did have to stop to take a quick potty break of course, but otherwise I felt great! I am so thankful for that. This is what makes me think that this baby is going to stay put for a good, long while still.  PS Emmerson hasn't used this stroller for years now. But all of the sudden she loves it. I'm hoping she doesn't get too attached because in a few weeks it will belong to someone else. Ha! 

 We ended our walk here, where the nicest homeless gentleman came up and wished me good luck with the basketball in my belly. :) I was so thankful that Dustin grabbed my phone to snap a couple pics of this moment. So much love in this picture, my heart could explode. 

 We were excited to bump into some friends from work that have two girls that were/are in each of the kids' preschool classes. They played tag on the grass for the longest time while we chatted and soaked up the sun. 

 Love Em's face here. She is so smitten with her Daddy. 

 And of course, big brother wanted to have his own turn too. 

 We decided to stay for a yummy lunch where the kids showed off their menu coloring skills. 

Then it was time to go. We made our way back to the car and I started my mental check list of things I had to do when we got home: meal plan, laundry, prep our lunches and backpacks...

But instead of jumping back on the freeway, Dustin turned back down the coast and we just drove and drove and drove. Everything about the day felt like summer. The beaches were packed, our windows were rolled down, the music was blasting, my to-do list went out the window, and the day lingered on for hours. Ahhhhhhh. 

How about some ice cream? 

And then one last walk on top of Double Peak where Dustin knows these running trails like the back of his hand. The views were stunning today. We could see snow capped mountains to the East, down town SD to the South, and south Orange County to the North. 

 We even used the telescope to find our own house. 

Look at her little hand holding on to him! 

And one last photo op before we officially headed back home. 

 I know I am going to miss this bump so much when it's gone. 

So here we go, folks! Back to work tomorrow and I am going to make the most of it. I am so excited to see my cute little students again. 

Wishing you all the best week! 

Lazy Days

Today marks the last official day of our winter vacation. I can tell the kids are ready for routine again because they've been getting a bit bonkers the last few days. I attribute part of that to the rain we've been getting which I LOVE, don't get me wrong. But I think Donovan would play in our front yard 24-7 if he could. So the days that we're stuck indoors get interesting to say the least. 

 Emmerson's preschool was actually open all week, but I just couldn't send her. I was loving this special time with my girl. She is getting SO big and SO funny these days. Gosh, I just love her to pieces. I snapped this picture on Wednesday when we took a little break together and watched a cartoon. She always sits so close to me and is constantly touching, hugging, or kissing my baby bump. 

 She and I worked on baking some new things together this week. While I was cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, she went out to play in our garage. A few minutes later she came charging into the kitchen with her swim floaties on rocking this crazy hair-do saying, "Mom, do you know why I have my floaties on? It's because I'm going swimming at my friend's pool and her name is Barbie!" She said it with so much enthusiasm! I adore her and her great big imagination. 

She is also super in to pretending to be different animals all with the most random names. I kid you not. She plays the part with so much dedication. Today she was a "happy snake" named Awesomeness and then a lizard named Ashti, a puppy named Buster and a hippo named Cardiss. She refuses to talk while in character (other than her proclamation of the change in animal type and new name). She'll carry toys around with her teeth and beg to play fetch. It is definitely her thing and it makes us all smile. 

 There was one day of this entire break that I actually... wait for it... made dinner. I swear, ever since I became pregnant, I have hated prepping for, shopping, or cooking meals. Dustin has stepped it up big time and developed a whole new love of whipping up meals. But over the course of this break we have both been so lazy about it. So the one night I actually ran to the market, made a meal, and even made dessert... I had to document it with a picture. 

This panini sandwich is everything! Fresh sourdough with pesto, tomato, avocado, gorgonzola cheese, bacon, turkey and spinach all grilled to perfection. It is so yummy! But not everyone thought so. I love that I was so excited to finally make dinner for the fam only to be met with uncontrollable tears from Emmerson about how GROSS it was and how she doesn't like any of it! It is next to impossible to please both kids with a meal unless it comes from Chick-fil-a or In-n-Out. #truth

 The next night, I was already back into my mode of, "What's for dinner, guys?" Dustin and I were so tired and just couldn't peel ourselves off of the couch. Dustin made a comment to Donovan and Emmerson about how we always have to work so hard to make them dinners... why can't they make us dinner sometime? He said it jokingly, but these two were all about it and I was too tired to think about it rationally. So off they went to the kitchen. We heard dishes, and the fridge open and close, and giggling, and then Donovan came in to ask permission to use the toaster... and 20 minutes later, they excitedly called us to the kitchen for our favorite meal ever! 

I got huge chunks of Oma's cranberry bread with a squeeze from a cream cheese packet on top and Dustin got a toasted peanut butter and honey sandwich. 

 These were some seriously gigantic slices, let me tell ya. 

The kids were beyond proud of what they made. It was so cute! I won't ever forget it. 

The 3 weeks that we've been off have been slow and lazy but they've also flown by. I am getting a little nervous thinking about getting back to the fast paced routine of our work week beginning again on Monday. Especially because I am now officially full term with this little babe of ours! Dustin has also started coaching baseball again which means double pick ups and busier afternoons too. We will take it all day by day and see how it goes. Praying that the Lord will sustain me and give me just what I need to get by while still being productive at work and the best mom and wife I can be. 

I still can't believe there will be a baby in our family in a few weeks!

Beach & Baby Ramblings

It's hard to believe now at the moment while I am sitting here bundled up with my Uggs on and a big, comfy sweatshirt, but last week we had a few 80 degree days that took us to our most favorite spot. 

The boys played endlessly while Emmerson and I made some sand castles and sat and watched the waves. 

 We even made a sand snowman with the help of Daddy, 

And here's a little shot Dustin took with all THREE of the kids together. :) Well, sort of anyway. 

An update on the baby: 

I am 36 1/2 weeks pregnant. 

I had a doctor appointment last Thursday. They did an ultrasound to confirm that the baby was head down and in the right position for delivery. I am so grateful for this because the way I could feel this little one kicking and moving, I was so unsure. But praise the Lord, this baby is head down and ready to go. They also did my last round of blood work where the man taking my blood assured me that I was having a boy. (But on the other hand my dental hygenist last week guaranteed me it was a girl). Ha! And I had my Step B test which I will find out the results of at my next appointment. I was Strep B positive with Donovan, but not with Emmerson. Hoping for another easy round without antibiotics like it was with Em. 

The baby is still active but the kicks have decreased quite a bit and I feel much more of rolling or stretching movements now instead. 

I have been a freak with organizing and trying to get ready for this little one's arrival. It started with the Christmas clean up and then moved into the baby's room. One day I took every article of clothing that Donovan and Emmerson have ever owned out of the bins that they were in, resorted them by their sizes ranging from 3 mos. - 5T (in Donovan's case) and then placed them back into their own storage bins with neatly labeled signs BOY or GIRL with whatever sized clothing the bin holds. It took me an entire day to do, but I felt so much better after it was through. Over the years I have tried my best to organize those bins as I brought them out to the garage but there were always a few random shirts of Donovan's in an Emmerson bin, or a whole slew of baby shoes for Emmerson in one of her big girl clothes bins. So now it's all accurately stored and saved. 

Dustin keeps saying that the second we find out the gender of this little peanut, we get to give away everything from the opposite gender. Waaaa! I know (deep down) that this is our last one but I can not for the life of me commit to that thought or the giving away of every last boy or girl item. Anyone else been there before? Does that get easier? 

Let's see what else... The baby's room has been cleaned up and organized for the most part. There are still a few things I am hoping to put up on the walls or do. I have pulled a few little items for the hospital bag but not much else. 

Ummm... the baby is STILL nameless. Dustin and I spent some quiet time the other night trying to solidify some options. There are a few contenders for a boy but nothing set in stone and a girl name is totally undetermined. Dustin says it's just too hard to name the baby without knowing the gender and I kind of agree with him. A name just makes it seem so permanent and without knowing exactly who is joining our family, it's so hard to know. But that hasn't stopped our kiddos from offering up names every second of the day. Donovan's latest: Bart. Ummm, no. Emmerson's latest: Stacey or Marshall... and then maybe instead of Marshall, Chase, or Ryder... (Paw Patrol theme going on here). 

I have been slowing down a lot and it's making me nervous because I return to work next week. I am planning on working for at least 2 weeks when we go back which would put me at 39 weeks when I go off on leave. Or maybe the baby will have other plans. I am not expecting an early arrival since I have been late both times before... but you can never know for sure. 

This little one is on my mind 24 -7. In fact, as much as I would love to be sleeping through the night I am finding myself getting up to use the potty one or two times. I usually stumble into the bathroom with my eyes barely open thinking... Good Lord, I'd hate to go into labor tonight I am soooo tired. And then the second I pop back in bed, under my warm covers, my eyes pop open and I stay awake for way too long with a million thoughts running through my mind. 

What other random thoughts can I share? Hmmm, the baby's nursery looks way more boy than girl. Gender neutral always seems BOY to me. If it is a girl I am going to have to add some feminine flare for sure. 

Our official due date is January 27th. And Did I ever share that this was also Donovan's due date? For this reason Donovan has been explaining to people that he and the baby are kind of like twins. :) I am so hoping that they won't be born on the exact same date so that they can each have their own special birthday but only God knows what will be best. Donovan's birthday is February 1st and I am hoping, hoping, hoping I will be home with him to celebrate it. 

And above all of these thoughts, to dos, or concerns... I am just so excited to meet this little one that has been a part of me for (what feels like) so long now. With each little foot stretch or set of hiccups I am feeling more and more excited to hold this one in my arms. I am so overwhelmed at the thought of seeing Donovan and Emmerson with their new baby sister or brother for the first time. 

Let the countdown begin! 

Countdown to Baby

While we are eagerly anticipating Christmas and all of the fun that accompanies it, we are also blown away by how quickly our due date is approaching. My official due date is January 27th which puts me midway into my 34th week of pregnancy. My belly has definitely been stretching and expanding and the baby is feeling lower and much heavier. I notice this especially because I have to go to the bathroom about every 5 seconds lately. Dustin and I went out to dinner and did a little Christmas shopping on Saturday night and I had to be close by a potty at all times. Sleep is still going okay. A very kind friend from work let me borrow her giant pregnancy pillow. Have you seen those things? Dustin and I crack up and say it's like having a third person sleeping in our bed with us. I tried it for a few nights but found it almost more difficult to use than anything. Rolling over in the middle of the night became a full blown production. It was comical. But I may just be eating my words in the next few weeks. I am still keeping it close by as my belly continues to grow, just in case.

Dressing this bod for work is always annoying. I am down to using about 1% of my closet now and have the same few tops and dresses in constant rotation. Last summer I bought a handful of large sweaters online when they were on super clearance, knowing they would come in handy towards the end of my pregnancy. But... I also wasn't anticipating how hot I would be feeling all of the time. We had a staff meeting last Wednesday and I was wearing a sweater, boots, leggings... I could feel the sweat beads accumulating on my head. I just kept hoping I wouldn't pass out. When everyone else at work comments on how freeeeezing my room is, I think it feels absolutely perfect. Lovely hormones, you always keep me on my toes. 

The most glorious news to report is that as of Friday, we now have 3 weeks off of school! This is just what I needed. When we return to work in January, I will be mid way through my 37th week. I intend to go back to work. My goal is to complete 2 full weeks and then play the week of my due date by ear and see how I'm feeling. We have my long term substitute all lined up and good to go whenever I need her to step in. I am extra excited for this little baby because with both Donovan and Emmerson, I could only take off my 6 weeks of partially paid leave. I squeezed in an extra week or two but we couldn't last very long with no pay. But with this little peanut, our district now offers the same 6 weeks of paid leave but now we also have the option to take 12 weeks of FMLA which is partially paid. And ohhhh yes, I am going to take it! What a gift to be able to be home longer with this little one and savor each moment I can during the very fleeting infant phases. Not to mention adjusting to life with three. I am already having anxious thoughts of mornings trying to get all three kids and myself up, out the door, and to our schools/daycares for the day. This extra time to navigate our new normal is such a blessing. 

Two baby names have been officially "considered" at this point. But we haven't shared them with anyone yet. I think it's because it just doesn't feel right not knowing the gender and selecting a name makes it feel too permanent. When Dustin suggested our girl name last week, I was all for it. But then saying it makes me get super attached to the idea of a girl. And our boy name is one that I dreamed a random dream about early on in the pregnancy and has thus stuck... but saying it also doesn't seem completely right until we know for sure we're having a boy or not. This whole gender surprise is such a different experience. I have honestly LOVED it. Dustin... not so much. I just keep thinking how amazing the moment will be when the baby is actually here and I hear them say, "It's a ____!" And even more than that, I can't wait to tell our kids whether or not they have a little brother or sister. 

Side note: Donovan went shopping in our school's holiday store where he picked out gifts for family and friends that are all super inexpensive little things. Each item is wrapped in a bag and labeled with the person's name on it. Yesterday, I finally opened the plastic bag to put all of his little wrapped presents by the tree. I smiled when I read one of the bags that said, "To Baby Brother." I guess he's pretty confident in his guess. 

I heard him and Emmerson arguing this weekend. Donovan was telling her, "It's not fair Emmerson, you always have someone to be a twin with. You dress like Clare and Laurel! (our nieces) It's going to be a boy because I need to have a twin too!" :) 

Time with tell...

              

 So here was a quick belly shot taken at 32 weeks. I look so grouchy in all of these shots. But, I'm not. I promise. 

 One of the few things I do have ready for this babe is all of the hand me down clothes from our kiddos are washed and folded in the dresser drawers. I love opening up these drawers and imagining who we will be bringing home. This is a little brother drawer with newborn swaddles, pajamas, and slippers. 

 And a little sister drawer with all of the same. 

 This drawer is my favorite. Because Donovan and this baby shared the exact same due date, the little boy outfits are perfect for a winter baby. I also ordered just a few gender "neutral" footed jammies from Old Navy that all look way more boy than girl to me, so they live in this drawer as well. 

Unlike the Emmerson hand-me-down outfits that were all ready for a summer baby. Most of her newborn outfits were cute little sun suits that hung in the closet. So, if this baby is in fact a little girl, we will have to do a bit of shopping for some warmer clothes. Something tells me that would not be a problem... shopping for girls is so much fun! 

Dustin hung up the two signs that I bought way back when the baby news was very fresh and I was just dying to get a little something that made the news feel real. 

 And that is just about all we have as far as decor in the baby's room. I also want to ask Grampie to take a few pictures of our beach so that I can frame them in the baby's room. 

A few weeks ago, they had a small shower at work for me. I was so embarrassed having a shower for a third baby! I am such a weirdo. I get mortified by that kind of attention. But, my amazing colleagues insisted and so I very humbly accepted so many beautiful gifts for the baby. We got lots of diapers, wipes, shampoos, gift cards, and a few little gender neutral cozy sleepers. I also got a Fisher Price rocker which is the one thing that I have been told is a must that I didn't have with our other two. The night I came home from the shower and carried all of these goodies up to the nursery, I couldn't help but get teary eyed. Emmerson helped me go through it all and for the first time, the thought of bringing a new baby home to our family seemed soooo real to me. We are so lucky and I am so, so thankful. 

 Speaking of Emmerson, she has been hanging out in the baby's room every chance she gets. I find her in there playing all the time. She is always so curious about the baby and can't wait to help me out. (Or so she says). 

Yesterday, I found her hanging out in the baby's rocker. She announced that she thinks she's a little too big for it. Sadly, I'd have to agree. I also love her choice of flip flops on top of her footed pjs. 

 When I unwrapped the newborn diapers and put them in the closet, Emmerson asked me how they worked. So we practiced on a few of the kids' stuffed animals. She had the hugest smile on her face and immediately marched downstairs with the teddy bear to show her Daddy what she could do now!

She has also hand selected some books and toys for the baby's room. We sat and played with some of them this weekend. 

And I am pretty mortified to share this picture... but let's be real. This is how I roll. Most bump pictures are taken in my jammies while I am getting Emmerson ready for her nightly bath. This is us in all of our 34 week glory sans make-up, and sans washed hair for that matter. Christmas vacation... I heart you!