Done and still going...

So 30 days are up! I took Jess's challenge from her blog post here and I completed it. I wish I could say I went out with a bang but the last day was quite anticlimactic.

Dustin and I had gotten home from a wedding we attended. It had been a long day. I thanked our babysitter (a.k.a. my second mom) pumped, washed my face, gave my sleeping boy a kiss and hopped into bed. The fan was on, our room was cool and I blissfully noted that it was only 10:00. (The earliest I had been to bed in weeks.) And just when I was about to venture off into dreamland, I sat straight up and whispered, "I forgot my devotional time today!!" Out of the bed I jumped to go sit in my mom cave and read my Bible and let me tell you, this may have been the hardest day of the 30. But I did it.

2 of the devotions in my devotional book, Jesus Calling, really spoke to me this week and summed up the last 30 days of this challenge.

Combining both they said,

Sit quietly in my presence while I bless you. Make your mind like a still pool of water, ready to receive whatever thoughts I drop into it. Rest in my sufficiency, as you consider the challenges this day presents. Do not wear yourself out by worrying about whether you can cope with the pressures. Keep looking to Me and communicating with Me, as we walk through this day together.

Bring Me the sacrifice of your time: a most precious commodity. In this action addicted world, few of my children take time to sit quietly in My presence. But for those who do, blessings flow like living streams of living water. Glorify me by delighting in Me. Enjoy Me now and forever!

These 2 devotions will be my challenge for the next 30 days and beyond. As I go back to work and learn how to juggle working full time while still being the best mommy and wife I can be, it will be harder than ever to sit quietly in His presence without my giant to-do list ringing in my ears. I have noticed how much it has already affected my devotional time during the last week. The more quiet time I spend focused on Him, the more at peace I am about everything else in my life. I just need to remember that this should be my biggest priority of the day.

So 30 days are up, but my biggest challenge is just beginning. I'm looking forward to all that He has to share with me as I embark on this new challenge ahead.

Reflection (Mid Challenge)

I wanted to take a moment to update you, and me for that matter, on the challenge I wrote about here. Today I completed day 21 of the challenge and it's going really well. I must confess, the Sacramento vacation posed a bit of a distraction from the routine. I hardly spent any time doing the listening part of my prayer time. I think for that reason alone, I wasn't feeling as connected as I had felt the week before. But since I've been home again I've gotten back into it full swing and have found some much needed peace in my sleepless stupor of late. I tell you, this time alone spent focusing on my Savior really fills up my tank from empty to full. I come feeling exhausted, weary, and sometimes frustrated and leave my devotional time feeling full, hopeful, rejuvenated.

There have been some common themes for me that have stuck out over the past 3 weeks of this devotional time.

This week's theme: Mainly that I suck at acting/behaving like a Christian. Technically, Christian as a noun is a thing: a person who believes that Jesus is the son of God... I am okay in that department. Christian as an adjective to describe someones actions of behaving Christ-like... yeah, that's where I need help. Even with a full spiritual tank and new found optimism I find countless times during the day when I fail at the exact thing I just repented for. I even find myself thinking God, I know I shouldn't say this comment and then apologize ahead of time because I know I'm going to say it anyways.

This past weekend with the countless nights of not having slept this month and the impending week ahead of acting as solo mom, I was uncharacteristically grouchy and chose to take it out on Dustin. The person who supports me most became my acting target for rolling of the eyes and snide remarks being mumbled under my breath. I just knew in my heart that I was in the wrong. I had GREAT conviction about the whole thing... but I was still not strong enough to act on it.

Ironically, the few proverbs that I have been focusing on this week had little verses here and there that have made me smile.

Proverbs 19:13 A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping.

Proverbs 21:9 It is better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife.

Okay, okay God. I hear you loud and clear!

It's weird how His Word works that way.

There have been more profound spiritual themes too. Sometimes just quiet moments of being thankful or moments of sitting in awe.

Long story short. It's good. Good for my soul.

If you're interested in starting the challenge for yourself, in whatever way it fits into your life... start here.

Challenge Week One

Last week I blogged about The Macs and specifically Jess's post about her 30 day challenge. I was so inspired by her words and I just couldn't agree with what she wrote more. So I decided to do something about it. Although the challenge that she led was supposed to take place June 1-30th... I didn't let that stop me. (P.S. I'm usually late to everything anyway) so I started my own 30 day challenge on July 8th.

Jess' challenge was a no brainer, really. Simply put:

This is something that has always been my intention. But it's amazing how days fill up with who knows what and I became a woman like so many others that made my time of "devotion" a quick 2 minute reading from a devotional book before my eyes began to close each night. I felt proud if I snuck in that quick read and guilty when I didn't. But who can really gain spiritual growth from that kind of race to finish, quick close your eyes and get to sleep kind of time anyways? Certainly, not me.

So let me share with you how I've spent my challenge time this week. I began by listening to this. Jess recommended it and so I listened while folding laundry, washing bottles, and blowing zerberts on my baby boy's tummy. You know how it goes, right? It was sort of like a little motivational pep talk for women explaining the basis of the 30 day challenge.

The next day I set out to begin "devoting" my time to God instead of rushing through and checking it off of my to-do list. The whole waking up in the morning before the day starts thing doesn't work for me because Donovan's day starts at 11pm lately and I am completely zombie like in the mornings. Instead I wait until he goes down for a nap. A nice, long one. This time varies. And just like right now as I'm typing, I have learned to leave the laundry, the messy sink full of dishes, the un-vacuumed floors, and instead grab my bag of stuff and find a quiet seat in the house. Usually, outside on our balcony.

My devotional time looks like this:

I have my Bible, my journal, my devotional, and a pen.

I begin by dating my journal and then opening up my Bible. I have decided to focus on 2 different things. First I read one chapter from Proverbs. Mainly because they're a quick read jam packed with a whole lot of insight and wisdom. Plus there's only 31 of them so I will finish the book of Proverbs by the end of the challenge. As I read I write down and key verses that stand out to me in my journal.

Next, I turn to the New Testament and I have been reading from the first book, Matthew. I read a chapter or two a day and do the same: write down any verses that seem particularly meaningful.

Then, I open up my devotional. There's millions of devotionals. Right now I'm reading this one.

I read the short devotional that has been designated for the current date and then look up the scripture that it references and write down anything that speaks to my heart.

After I have read, I look over the verses I've written down, think about what's on my heart: things I feel bad about, things I'm hoping to change, people that are on my mind that need prayer, and I write down a prayer to God. I write in my journal like I am literally writing a letter to Jesus. Not so much for Him... but more because I love to look back on my prayers and see how God's answered them and how I've grown and changed throughout the years.

And finally, this is what has really changed for me with this challenge. The last thing I do is sit and LISTEN. I have never attempted this before. I just sit and try my hardest to tune out EVERYTHING in my mind: all the thoughts, worries, questions and I try sooo hard to focus on just being still.

I know it sounds crazy, but I have experienced so much growth during this time this week. I suppose it's a lot like meditation, which I've never tried before. It's not easy to do, but it's rewards are great.

People have told me before that they can hear God. I have never heard the voice of God audibly. But there have been a few times this week when I have been completely still that a random thought or scripture or just a phrase has popped into my head and evoked a total sense of peace in me and I am quite sure that it's my own version of how God has "spoken" to me this week.

So that is how week one has panned out. I am totally encouraged and realize that this may not be something that interests you in the least. I get it. I've been there. But if it does, I totally encourage you to read Jess' blog post and her reflections and give it a go. I am so thankful I did.

Oh and one more thing, back in March of 2009 I blogged about my own faith journey here. Everyone has a story of why they believe what they do... this was mine.