Happy New Year

Gosh, the start of this year has been completely uneventful. Maybe I need to give thanks for that. NYE kicked off with a bedtime of around 10:00 and most of my evenings this week have ended with some HGTV viewing and falling asleep on the couch. Vacation mode, lazy days, and rest filled nights are in full swing over here. 

The days of vacation are flying by. We did manage to sneak away to my favorite place for an afternoon last week. Ahhhh, there is nothing like it. The sun felt warmer at the beach than it has at home. The smell of the salty air and the sound of the ocean waves trickling back to the sea over all of the beach rocks felt like a glimpse of heaven on earth. I just love it here and don't spend nearly enough time enjoying it for being such a short driving distance from it all. Maybe that is one thing I should resolve to do more of this year. 

Speaking of resolutions. I am not huge on the idea of making resolutions, per se... But I do appreciate the idea of a fresh start and trying new things. My new chronological Bible reading plan has been so great this week! It's not too late if anyone is still interested in following along. I wrote about it here. I'm thankful to have started it over vacation because I'm spending a big chunk of my morning diving into it and I am learning so much. I am not sure how that will pan out when I go back to work in another week. I will have to start setting my alarm earlier, or doing the reading at night instead. Either way, this is one I know I want to stick with. Here are a few thoughts I had this week as we kicked off in Genesis and Job. 

God is SO big and SO mighty and I am so very small. Reading the story of creation really put that into perspective for me. It's amazing how my little world becomes so big in my eyes. But gosh, our God is so powerful and I am so thankful that He created us in such a way that we are allowed to know Him through his word and communicate with Him through prayer. 

God's word even from the very beginning points to Jesus. I can't wait to see the big picture in its entirety as I continue studying.

God is hurt by our sin. 

Gen 6: 5-6 "The Lord saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The LORD grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain."

God restores His plan with His people. Like Noah, in whom he "found favor" with. This made me wonder if I were more obedient and upright, if I would sense more ways that God could use me to fulfill His purpose. 

And now for the last few days we've been in the book of Job and will remain there for the next few weeks. In all honesty, this book has been harder for me to really dive into. But I am still seeing glimpses of God's character. And one big take away that I have had in the last few days is from reading the chapters about Job's friends responding to Job's hardships. I learned that the best comfort we can provide a friend is done with our presence and our silence. Even well intended words can hurt those who are suffering. 

Dustin, my mom, and his mom, have been reading along with the plan this week, too. (And my friend Sara Culver!) It's been nice having someone to talk to about it each day. Mostly, I am just blown away that there is so much to learn and so much that I don't know about God's character and His sovereign plan for creation. I'm thankful to have the Word to better understand it all and especially grateful for Tara Leigh Cobble's podcast that helps recap each day's reading in a way that makes sense to my very limited brain capacity. :) 

Phew, you still with me? 

On a totally different note. I need help in the health department. Remember when I use to want to stand on the roof tops and shout to all to join me in the Kayla Itsine's BBG workout plan? I followed it pretty faithfully for about a year and a half and have soooo many great things to say about it. My body never felt so strong and my energy level and confidence were equally uplifted. But I fell off the wagon sometime towards the end of summer and didn't look back and man, does it show. Even with the beginning of the new year, I have very little motivation to jump back into it. 

But yesterday, Donovan started to watch these episodes of America Ninja Warrior Junior and then last night we randomly watched that new show The Titan Games or something... and I felt so sad that I have let myself fall so far from where I had been fitness wise. 

I mean, I can barely button my jeans right about now. It's been a loooong season of eating comfort foods, desserts like they're going out of style, and rarely turning down an offer for an IPA or a holiday egg nog. 

So after Donovan begged me to "get bigger muscles" with him, I did the very first BBG workout today and it kicked my A**. I am SO out of shape. But I am also wanting so badly to keep it up so that there comes a time where I feel like I am owning the workout and it's not owning me. 

Self control is the name of the game and I struggle with that big time. Especially where good food and sweets are part of the picture. We'll see how this one plays out. We are soon to enter the busiest season of our year with baseball season upon us. I lose my better half for the majority of the week and weekend. But I also don't want excuses to keep me from being my best self. So consider me putting this into writing as some sort of commitment to doing better for me, and for my kids especially. 

And I guess, that's about it for this week. It went by so fast and we did a whole lot of nothing... but I loved every minute of it. 

Tomorrow we leave for our Disneyland trip! We are doing 3 days at the park and I am super excited. It's been 4 years since we were there last. I know it'll be exhausting and I am not sure how my little fireball is going to handle all of the excitement. But I also have very little expectations and am just excited to soak up fun time with my crew. Can't wait to blog about it on the flip side. 

Have a wonderful week, friends! 

xo

Let's Talk Fitness (BBG 1.0 Wrap Up) What's Next?

Well guys, I made it! I completed the 12 weeks of Kayla Itsines BBG 1.0 workouts. I really can't believe I am saying that because if you know me historically, you'd know this is a super big deal for me. You can read about my journey by clicking these links below. 

starting out

4 weeks

8 weeks

So first the physical results and then I have so many random thoughts to share about the experience below: 

Front view pre-BBG, 4 weeks, 8 weeks, and 12 weeks in

Side view: Pre-BBG, 4 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks in

And a final side by side comparison of the front view pre-BBG and post BBG 1.0. 

My reflections on the final 4 weeks: 

Holy cow these work outs just don't quit. The final four weeks definitely tested my strength. It's incredible to think back about how much my body has been able to build up to doing in these final workouts. I have sweat more in the last two weeks than I remember sweating throughout the whole program... but this could also be because it's insanely hot and I did the majority of the workouts outside mid-day. (Mom of three home with the kids during the day, you've gotta do what you've gotta do). 

I am probably most proud of the fact that our 2 week vacation up north didn't make me skip a beat. I kept right on with the schedule and was able to complete the workouts in Grammie's backyard. It was actually even nicer while we were up North because the kids were so happily engaged while I did my workouts, they didn't even notice that I was gone. 

The thing I am most frustrated about in these final weeks has been my nutrition and lack of any other form of exercise. While I have faithfully completed my 3 thirty minute resistance workouts each week, I have not been doing ANY of the LISS (Walking) or HITT (Interval Running) workouts AT ALL. And my eating, you guys! It's been sooo bad! Like eating raw cookie dough straight out of a container every night this week- bad -and polishing off an entire sleeve of RITZ crackers on the drive home from the beach as a precursor for the ravenous gorging that proceeded it when we actually got home. I really can't pinpoint why my nutrition (or lack there of) has been so out of control. I am not really stressed right now, it's not coming from unhappiness or a place of insecurity... I seriously think it is straight exhaustion. Long days at the beach, amusement parks etc. and I am a total mombie (yes, a mom zombie) that can barely think, let alone plan a well thought out meal with nutritional value. These are my goals that I will share more about below. 

What has surprised me the most is the mental shifts that have evolved over the past 12 weeks. For example, prior to this program I did lots of random work outs: Jillian's 30 Day Shred (which I never once made it all the way through), Billy's Bootcamp videos, running intermittently... every single one of these things I set out to do from a place of frustration. Like, I'd finally get to a place of feeling so gross that I'd say, "That's IT... I'm starting the shred tomorrow! And no more sweets! EVER!" I'd also weigh myself often and feel so crappy if my weight went up a pound or two. And heck, if it dropped a pound or two despite any effort well that was cause for some serious celebration... Let's go shopping. 

Not anymore. I rarely weigh myself. I can't tell you what my final numbers are. Not because it's bad to, or I've been told not to... simply because I don't need to. I FEEL good and that's all that I care about now. 

You know what's rad about this program?! My kids watched me do it. They watched me struggle. They watched me lay flat on the ground taking heavy breaths in between a circuit or heck, they'd watch me huffing and puffing mid circuit just trying to catch my breath and I would hear a little voice call out from the window, "Go, Mom!" "You've got this, Mom!" I love that I hear Emmerson say things all the time like, "Mom look! I have strong muscles." 

Now granted, I am certainly not trying to instill vanity in my children. That's not what I want to communicate by taking mirror selfies in a sports bra for whoever might be reading my blog. But instead, I love that they've witnessed perseverance and a fight in me toward making myself healthier, more energetic, and more confident. 

The biggest blessing in all of this may just be the confidence. I can now take my kids to the Legoland Waterpark and walk around the park all day in a bathing suit without caring that I'm walking around a park all day in a bathing suit, ya know? 

Those insecurities used to consume me and rob me of the fun I could be having with my tribe. No more. 

And perhaps the very biggest surprise of this entire thing is that I'm not done! I've never said that after finishing something before. It's always been... do it until I get results and then ride the easy train until it gets real bad again and I have to start working out all over again. 

Nope, I truly am devoting myself to this becoming a lifestyle change for me. I have so much work to do especially in the area of making healthier choices nutritionally. 

So where am I going from here? Kayla has a 2.0 workout. I've checked it out. It looks like it's do-able. (Ha! Famous last words). Same types of exercises, same type of time commitment. But for now, I have decided to re-do 1.0 again. The first few weeks of the program I could barely hang. I mean I could barely do a push-up at the beginning. So I would like to re-do it from the start with this current level of strength that I now have. And then we'll see from there. 

I know it will be challenging, especially when I go back to work next month. But I also know that the benefits far outweigh the challenges.

I started blogging about my fitness journey 12 weeks ago because I thought it'd be a great way to hold me accountable to a new program. But now, I just want to grab anyone I know by the hands, look them in the eye, and beg them to join me! 

Anyone can do this program. You don't need any fancy equipment. Heck, I use our blow up bed in its bag as my version of the 15-25 pound medicine ball, no joke. YOU CAN DO THIS! 

I recommend following Kayla on instagram. Start seeing all of the amazing success stories of women of every age, body shape, life station making it work for them. I followed her for months thinking wow that's so awesome... look at those results... Too bad I could never do something like that. 

But then, one day I just tried the first workout. And then two days later tried the second... and twelve weeks later I am so incredibly thankful for the gift that this program has been for me. 

And hey, if this really isn't your thing... find YOUR thing! I loved reading Emily Lex's post here this week about how she found her thing! Barre3, and she wants to shout it from the rooftops, too. So convincingly that I almost felt like making her thing my new thing too. Ha! Check it out. 

If any of you mommas out there want to give my thing a try, let me know! I am starting it again tomorrow from the beginning. There's nothing better than the encouragement of friends making the journey happen together. 

You've got this! 

xo

BBG 8 Week Check-in & Ramblings

 Okay my friends, I have been slacking like crazy on blog updates lately. Life has been busy. But I am proud to report that the BBG workouts are still a thing and I completed week 8 at the end of last week. Here are a few pictures of my progress to date. (Pre-BBG, 4 weeks, and 8 weeks in). 

 I am not sure what has been a bigger transformation over the course of these 8 weeks... my physical progress, or the bathroom updates ha! I promise to post more pictures of those soon, too. 

My random thoughts after completing week 8: I have been awful with incorporating my LISS workout days which are days of walking for 35 - 45 minutes. I found those harder and harder to squeeze in in the last few weeks. I have been very consistent about my 3 resistance workouts each week, so that is still a plus and I can definitely feel the changes in my body that have come from completing those each week. 

The workouts remain the same for me. Each one feels so challenging and just when I think I am getting to the point that they're not as difficult, Kayla ups the reps or the tasks and it brings me to my breaking point all over again... but in the best way possible. I am slower at some workouts than others, but I have never completed one and felt sorry that I did it. I always feel so accomplished after each workout is completed. 

Physically I can see more definition in my abs and in my arms. Dustin and I were moving furniture back into our bedroom the other night after the floors were done and he said, "Dang, arms! Wow... I can see the definition." That was all the motivation I needed to squeeze in a late night resistance session that I had been putting off all day. It's so nice to be able to actually see the reward from the hard work that I've been putting in. 

I have been pretty laid back with eating the last few weeks. I have been hungry, like hangry a lot and find myself eating so much when I get to those points... not always making the healthiest decisions. I have also been indulging in more sweets lately, too. Ice cream here and there or whatever dessert is being served. I don't feel like it's made a huge impact on my energy or ability to move forward with my workouts but I could definitely be a whole lot better than I have been in recent days/weeks. 

 So, ladies. Want to join me? I can't tell you how good it feels to be able to push myself physically. I feel stronger every day and I love that! You can do it, too. Find something that you enjoy and just get moving. It's amazing to see how your body and even better, your mind, respond to pushing yourself physically. 

And perhaps the most important thing of all, these precious kiddos are watching me. I love that I have more energy to play with them and that they can see the natural confidence that comes from gaining strength in a healthy way. 

So cheers to 8 weeks of progress. I'll check back in when the 12 weeks are done and hopefully have a plan for what comes next. 

4 Week Update - and lots of random thoughts

Alright my friends, I am back already with my 4 week update. Today officially marks 4 weeks of using the Kayla Itsines Bikini Body Guide work out plan. 

I am happy to say that I have not missed a workout yet although I have missed a few LISS (walking) days here and there. 

Here are some pictures of my physical progress to date. 

Side note- I tried to find the same black shorts that I was wearing in the before picture but in the current state of the bathroom renovation (as seen in the updated picture background) and all of the chaos that comes with it, I couldn't find them anywhere. So these will have to do for the time being. 

A little reminder too, from my last post found here: I had actually been exercising pretty consistently for about 6 weeks before taking my "before" pictures. But my workouts were a random array of whatever I could squeeze into my limited time to exercise. 

 I haven't measured myself or anything, but I am super excited about the progress so far based on how I feel. I can see a physical difference in the front view pictures for sure. Although my weight overall hasn't changed too much (I think I may have lost maybe 3 pounds since I started) I can still see that my stomach area looks leaner than in the starting picture. 

The side profile doesn't show as much of a change but I can definitely feel a difference in the way my clothing is fitting and in my ability to exert myself during the workouts. 

Here are my random thoughts after 4 weeks: 

Nutrition- I started off surprisingly strong making super clean choices because they just felt better to my body. It wasn't always easy, but I just tried to remind myself when I was craving my sweets that it would only satisfy me for such a limited time before making me feel like crap. I had a really bad eating weekend last weekend for Em's birthday. We indulged in Mexican food takeout, some birthday cake, and Legoland cheeseburger and fries... but that's my life. Some days are better than others. When I fall off the wagon (so to speak) I find that my sweet cravings come back in full force and I take a few steps backwards but I am determined to seek better nutrition and so I slowly find my way back to cleaner eating again. 

I haven't cut out anything in particular but I have cut back a lot on an evening beer with dinner, ice cream after kid tuck ins, and mindless snacking on kid junk in the dreaded hours between 2 - 5 pm. I survive much better on an almost annoyingly consistent existence of meals. 

Typically coffee, a banana, and oatmeal for my morning breakfasts and snacks

A sandwich or salad for lunch

A snack of carrots, pretzels, dried mangoes, peanut butter toast, or popcorn to curb me over before dinner.

And dinner is whatever I make for the whole family. Most typically grilled meat, side salad, and veggies... but other nights, a casserole loaded with cheese and sour cream so it just depends. 

Exercise- The exercises are super challenging in the BBG program. But I am loving it! It's the perfect amount of challenge with so much to gain. Remember that the program is only 3 workouts per week which is totally manageable. I feel so much stronger and have so much more energy! It's the little things. Like this week at Legoland, in all of my years of going, I have always loved the giant castle area playground. Why? Because I can SIT on my bum mindlessly people watching or looking at my phone while my kids run off all of their energy and craziness in a safe environment. But this time, for the first time in all of my years of going to Legoland, I wanted to check out the playground for myself. I absolutely loved running all over that crazy course with my kids screaming and laughing all the way beside me. It is that kind of energy that I am the most thankful for and that is motivating me to keep on going with the BBG program. 

So here are my thoughts for you: I swore I couldn't do it. I told myself there was no way I was strong enough to start yet. I could barely do one push up. I felt completely lethargic... but I had to take the jump at some point. And so one month ago I did. I am SO glad and I can't wait to keep at it and see what the next four weeks of workouts bring. You can do it, too. Right along with me or in whatever capacity works best for you. 

You are worth it. Give yourself the time and self care that you deserve. 

I loved reading about the workouts you've tried in the last set of comments. Keep at it ladies! Or start now! You won't regret it. 

xo

Let's Talk Fitness- After Baby #3

Alright gang, I am throwing it all out there! 

I thought I would start a little bit of a blog series about my health journey after Taylor's arrival. We'll see if I can stay committed to updating here. I thought this might be the perfect way to hold myself accountable to the goals I've set and hopefully inspire a few momma friends of mine to join in on the hard but rewarding work with me. 

Pregnancy aside, my typical build is tall and lean-ish with very little muscle tone. I think, because I am tall at 5'9, my overall build looks leaner than it really is. I tend to carry extra weight in my mid section and in my thighs and bum. I've read the term "skinny-fat" in places before and as much as I don't really think I am either of those things, the combination of the two is actually a pretty good descriptor for my general view of self. 

Nutrition has always been a down fall of mine. I love sweets and I have a history of poor self control. I blame that on my Dutch upbringing... butter and sugar all the time (just kidding, Mom... sort of). Those dang Dutch pancakes that my own kids now love! And you know those Costco birthday cakes with all the frosting... I seriously could polish off an entire sheet cake on my own I love them so much. So nutrition is a challenge for me. I will leave it at that. 

Thankfully, my body image is healthier now than I think it has ever been. I have never been more appreciative or proud of this body that God has given to me and it's ability to do incredible things. In November of 2015 I ran my first (and maybe last -Ha!- half marathon) which is the most challenging physical activity I've ever worked towards and I am especially proud of it's ability to carry three beautiful babies to full term. Praise Jesus!

So there you go. A little bit about me and what I'm working with. 

Now let's talk specifics about this post baby body. I gained 30 pounds with this pregnancy. At the doctors appointment I had had a few hours before I went into labor, I weighed 165 pounds. I actually gained a bit more but then started to lose just a touch in the few weeks leading up to Taylor's arrival. Now, much to my surprise I came home from the hospital after giving birth to my 7 pound baby and excitedly weighed myself (certain that I would have lost at least 15 pounds) only to see that the scale indicated that I had lost a total of 4. What??!! 161 pounds? Still??? Lovely. Dang water weight, bloat, and the ability to order anything at anytime from the hospital cafeteria and have it delivered conveniently to my room. Ugh. 

Fortunately, my physical recovery with Taylor was super easy and it felt amazing to begin walking with her right away. After just a few days of being home I began walking regularly with the stroller for about 30 - 40 minutes each day. It felt so good in fact, that when I was just 3 weeks postpartum I even began doing some light jogging with the stroller. But I also noticed that I began to bleed more afterwards, so I slowed myself back down to just a walk. 

Nutrition wise, I wanted to make sure that I did not effect my milk supply by dieting or anything so I just pretty much ate whenever I felt hungry which was often but I tried to avoid massive doses of junk food and sweets. 

When I was cleared after my 6 week appointment, I took these pictures of myself. 

 My body was not the worst thing ever, but I did feel completely unlike myself. I felt weak, and uncomfortable in my clothes and had very few things that I could wear that I felt good in. I refused to spend money on clothing for this stage, so I pretty much lived in the same few clothing items on heavy rotation. All mommas of babies, you know this phase... it's part of the process. Our bodies become a machine with the sole purpose of providing for our babe's every need and meanwhile we kind of just have to ride out the awkwardness of it all. 

At that time of my physical clearance I decided to take a more systematic approach to exercise. I went back to my trusty old friends Jillian Michaels and her 30 day shred videos and also threw in some days of Billy Blank's Bootcamp on youtube. My tried and true workout videos of my yester-years. I started with Jillian and did feel improvement as I got to workout 9 or 10 but I got so bored of doing the exact same things over and over again. Billy's Bootcamp was much more challenging but it was hard to squeeze in the full hour of the workout so I would often cut it short and felt like I wasn't getting to all of my target areas. My weight never changed drastically. I got down to 150ish pounds but then just plateaued there. And honestly, it wasn't as much about the number on the scale as it was about how I was feeling. I still lacked energy, dreaded having to squeeze in some exercise time, and could tell my clothes didn't fit much different than they had in the weeks prior to my diligent workouts. 

Throughout all of this time, I had been following Kayla Itsines on instagram. I had seen many inspiring before and afters from women of all ages and body types that had found success using her BBG program. I loved the community of women that followed her and left positive and uplifting comments to one another on her posts. I knew I wanted to give it a try but I just didn't feel like I'd be strong enough to jump in yet. 

But then, a friend of mine posted that she had started the program and I decided that I would find out more from her and give it a try for myself. Why not? 

I took these pictures when Taylor had just turned 3 months. Keep in mind, I had been exercising regularly but with little movement on the scale and little observable physical changes too. 

So when Taylor was 3 months old, I officially committed myself to beginning the BBG program. If you don't know much about it and are interested, start following @kaylaitsines on instagram. You will be so in awe of these incredible women! Her program last for 12 weeks. But many women continue to do the program over and over again. The schedule is basically three 30 minute resistance workouts per week, 3 days of continuous walking for 35-45 minutes (she calls these a low intensity stead state or LISS workout) and then 1 day focused on rehabilitation (rest & stretching).

The 3 resistance workouts each week are broken up into body parts (legs & cardio, arms & abs, and an all over body workout) I am not going to lie. The workouts are intense! Within each workout she has 2 different circuits. Each circuit has 4 specific exercises that you do continuously for a 7 minute period. When 7 minutes is up, you take a quick breather and then start on circuit 2 with 4 new exercises that you do continuously for 7 minutes. When that is finished, you go back to the first circuit again and then finish with circuit 2. So it's four 7 minute workouts with a 30 - 60 second breather in between each one. Overall 30 minutes followed by some quick stretching and you're done. 

(source)

The workouts look like this. And while they may appear totally doable, I assure you they are NOT. It is so hard for me each and every time. I find myself pausing in the middle of circuits to catch my breath or literally falling on my face mid commando because my arms give out. Each one pushes you to your maximum potential... but you just keep at it. 

If you are wondering if you could do it... the answer is YES! I swore I couldn't. In fact, I could probably do 1 push up if I was lucky when I started this... but it gradually builds you up. And she also includes a 4 week pre-workout routine for women who are recovering from pregnancy or who are complete beginners with physical exercise. so YOU CAN DO IT! I promise! 

Right now, I am in the middle of my fourth week of workouts. And I am LOVING it! Each workout has the perfect amount of variety to keep me engaged. And the LISS walking workouts every other day make it all feel very manageable. I can definitely feel a difference in my body. While it might not be totally obvious from looking at me, I sure feel a heck of a lot stronger and tighter all over. 

The exercises that initially felt impossible are now feeling a little less impossible. Hee hee! 

Nutrition wise, I have been much more motivated to eat well for the last few weeks which is very unlike me. I have made major changes in how and when I eat. No more ice cream after tucking in the kiddos and I honestly haven't missed it one bit. It feels good to be in control of what I eat rather than just eating whatever I can mindlessly get my hands on. Not to say I have eliminated anything in particular but I am just more aware of what I am eating and trying to find snacks that provide more lasting energy than the quick spike that a handful of chocolate chips used to give me. 

So, no updated pictures of me... yet. I just wanted to start with some real shots of where I began. I am almost finished with my first four weeks and then I hope to update here with my before and after (4 weeks). On my way towards completing Kayla's full 12 week program and hopefully developing a lasting mindset and dedication towards being a more energetic and healthy momma. 

What about you? What have you tried? What works for you... any one want to join me? 

xo